breaking up hurt and it still does. but what cuts really deep is your rejection of my body before that. i don’t feel good enough for anyone. i don’t want anyone to touch me again.

I just want it to all go away.

It feels so great being happy.

This place reminds me why I never want to come back.

now that ive made my bed and laid in it, im more terrified than ever before. if this fails, if i fail here, i will have nothing. and that is the scariest thing in the whole fucking world.

i am sick of always being blamed for everything. i wish i was raised with a single mother in poverty than live life with you as my father.

1 year ago on May 03, 2011 at 11:37pm

I always have to double check everything I write and send to you. I have to make sure I didn’t throw in an “I love you.” I hate having to constantly check this.

I catch onto everything.

I never thought my feelings for you were this strong. Never in a million years did I think they would end up being this strong. But it doesn’t matter anymore.

meeting him was what made me realize that i could move on.
my heart wrenches at the thought of never knowing, never finding out, never exploring him. and to think, just in time for you to decide that you want me, want to open up to me.
i hope it’s not too late.

i thought you would stay. i was hoping i was good enough for you to.

Getting away from this fucking place will be the worst and best thing I have ever done.

You have no need or right to act the way you do towards me. Grow up.

I am falling back into that rut.

I have the emptiest feeling in my chest, but then again it feels like I have so much inside myself weighing me down.