breaking up hurt and it still does. but what cuts really deep is your rejection of my body before that. i don’t feel good enough for anyone. i don’t want anyone to touch me again.
now that ive made my bed and laid in it, im more terrified than ever before. if this fails, if i fail here, i will have nothing. and that is the scariest thing in the whole fucking world.
I always have to double check everything I write and send to you. I have to make sure I didn’t throw in an “I love you.” I hate having to constantly check this.
I never thought my feelings for you were this strong. Never in a million years did I think they would end up being this strong. But it doesn’t matter anymore.
meeting him was what made me realize that i could move on.
my heart wrenches at the thought of never knowing, never finding out, never exploring him. and to think, just in time for you to decide that you want me, want to open up to me.
i hope it’s not too late.
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